My roommate starts to panic while cooking.
Me: “Tori. What happens when you panic in Masterchef?”
Tori: “I thought you said what happens when I panic masterbating and I was going to say ‘same thing, Gordon Ramsey yells at me.’”
scariest moment in every Orange is the New Black fan’s life
Paul: “Didn’t know I could cook, did you?”
Paul: “Good. Then you won’t be disappointed when you find out I can’t.”
Absolutely adore them
My roommate’s cat hasn’t been feeling well these past couple of days. So when my roommate went to bed and came back out telling me she had to wash my sheets I was completely confused. Apparently Icarus shit on my bed…Not the kind of thing I think she wanted to clean up tonight. Thank you for cleaning it up though my lovely!