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Daily Rant #22? Maybe

I honestly don’t think I’ve missed home this much. I’m starting to go a bit crazy here in Farmington. I miss my family, my town, the miles of nothingness that surrounds my home and the places around me. I haven’t spent a whole summer away from home all my life and I’m really starting to hate it. The closer it gets to school starting the more I realize how much I’m missing so many little things that I took for granted. I miss the bonfires with my family, having a couple beers after dinner and listening to the crickets at the night hours go on. I miss being able to go for aimless walks for hours that don’t be me lost. I miss being in the middle of nature, being apart of it, and experiencing it on a daily basis. I’ve always known I was a country girl and the more I’m in this “small town” the more I realize how much I really miss the small town I grew up in. The beauty that is etched into the land and the peacefulness that comes with living so far from real places is something I miss. I open the windows to my apartment at night and I hear drunk people screaming or cars speeding by. At home, I’d hear the crickets or the frogs, and some nights —if I was really lucky— I could hear the loons out on the lake that’s about a mile and a half down the road or the coyotes off in the distance as it chases its prey. I knew I would miss some of these things this summer, but I never knew it would be this much. A part of me is half tempted to walk all the way back home (which is a four hour drive_ just to be there for a few nights. People say they don’t understand how I could live there or how could I survive without internet and the truth is, it’s actually very easy. Yeah, there’s no malls or places to really shop for over an hour away —two hours if you want to go to a small mall— but I like it. I like the quiet and solitude that comes with living in the middle of nowhere, where everyone knows your name, and would stop EVERYTHING they are doing to help a friend that’s in need. I miss the dirt roads and the simple pleasures that come with taking a drive down them. Yeah, living out in the country there really isn’t a whole lot of entertainment like movie theaters or anything else where you pay money that you can think of. However there is making your own fun and having fun in the simplest of ways and that is something else I miss about not being home this summer. I also miss my family like crazy, my pets, the smell of my 160+ year old house. Home is where the heart is and I want to be there, but sadly, as everything in life, you don’t always get what you want. I will be counting down the days until I can get back though and perhaps if I’m lucky, it’ll be fall and I can enjoy what a real fall really is in my bum-fuck-nowhere town, where there is more beauty than you could ever imagine.

Filed under daily rant rants ranting home homesick family missing little things fall summer hating it woods bum fuck nowhere nowhere nothingness life small town missing it peacefulness perfection lucky country country girl never coyotes loons nature animals bonfire beer